Memorable Ghostbusters Message Board Posts: Ghostbusters 3 Screenplay

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Memorable Message Board Posts

"Possible screenplay for GB3"

Posted by Jeff Hodgson on June 2, 1997:
(on the "Ghostbusters Message Board")

INT-HOTEL DINING ROOM-NIGHT

The group of Ghostbusters enter the room. A little ugly, green ghost sits in the middle of the room

CHRIS FARLEY

Oh my dear! My goodness me! What in the of Benji's love is that?!?!

Adam Sandler unleashes his proton beam, blasting everything in sight.

ADAM SANDLER

Yeah bitch, you want some a that? Yeah boy!

WILL SMITH

You da man Adam, you da man!

DAN AYKROYD

Somebody go get that ghost while he's hurt.

JACKIE CHAN

I go boss, I do good, you see.

Jackie cartwheels over a table and flips onto a desert cart. He skateboards the cart across the room and fires his beam catching the ugly spud.

WALTER MATTHAU

Way to go there Jackie, ya showoff karate boy.

DENNIS LEARY

Now see that's what's wrong with the world today. There Jackie is doing his kung-fu schtick catching ghosts and here I am standing here doing dick all smoking a big fat cuban stogie, but I don't care. You know why? Because it's my democratic right not to care that's why. I'm going to sit on my fat ass and do nothing because I'm free to do so. I'm smoking and I'm going to drink too.

DAN AYKROYD

Somebody help Jackie he can't hold him himself.

JENEANE GAROFALO

Yeah yeah, hold your horse why don't you. How does this thing work?

Cha-chunnggg. She blasts him. Chris Farley blasts him too.

CHRIS FARLEY

For the love of Benji somebody help us here.

Chris falls over from the strain.

JEFF GOLDBLUM

Um now, I don't believe I'm the only one that seems to find this whole escapade ... very unsafe and ... unnatural. I think we should respect ... damn it respect the distinction between supernatural and natural ... um ... forces ... here.

DAN AYKROYD

Somebody help here.

JEFF GOLDBLUM

Well if you can't beat them you can ... um ... join ... them.

He blasts the ghosts.

WALTER MATTHAU

Let up on the squirt yer gonna rip the little turd in half.

Aykroyd sets the trap and they catch the ghost.

DAN AYKROYD

From this moment forth, we are the new Ghostbusters!

They stand in a circle and put their hands on top of one another.

All TOGETHER